It All Breaks Down at the First Rehearsal
by SecretSparrowTodd
Summary: A casual spitting game turns into sudden realisation. Lust, confusion, agro, anger, hatred and romance are inevitable. Inspired by Placebo's 'Nancy Boy'. Bad summary! Rated M for bad language and sexual content


**Hey guys! This is a one-shot dedicated to my friend Megan. It is inspired by Placebo's 'Nancy Boy' and LostAlone's 'Our Bodies Will Never Be Found'! I'm not entirely sure how I came up with this idea but anyway, here it is! Enjoy this Sweenett 'fluff'! **

**(If you listen to either 'Nancy Boy' or 'Our Bodies Will Never Be Found' whilst reading it sets the mood. If not, just read! Set a month after they've come up with their little scheme, heh heh =D)**

**~Rated M for use of bad language and 'SERIOUS' sexual content~(For god's sake! It's rated M! xD)  
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><p><strong>It All Breaks Down at the First Rehearsal<strong>

He sat there, staring into the non-existent abyss around him. He was always bloody sat there; drinking in the nothingness that he supposed was his life.

The barber suddenly jolted and rushed to his window, overlooking Fleet Street. The place had definitely grown uglier, as it was more disgusting than he remembered it to be fifteen years ago. Endless trains of snobby tourists, noblemen, children, peasants, _dogs _even, toddled by one-hundred-and-eighty-six Fleet Street. All of them were oblivious to the murderous glare of the demon that inhabited the parlour above Mrs Lovett's pie shop. Three-quarters of them didn't even notice the vengeful apparition standing there, eyes raging with disgust- it was a wonder he hadn't actually opened the window and spat on them.

He smirked; thinking of the helpless children's faces, the noblemen's annoyed scowls, the peasants' self pity and the dogs' confused gallops.

Yes. That would be _joyous fun_.

His slender ivory fingers wrapped around the window's thin, spindly handle, tipping it down to allow a soft gentle spring breeze into his parlour. Despite the smell of heavy smog wafting in too, the barber thought it was quite refreshing.

He poked his out of the window, eyeing his first disgusting victim.

His eyes scanned the passing 'people'.

Seeing the sight of the many noblemen, he decided to test out his spitting spree on a lower class person than himself first, just to see the human reactions.

After another few minutes of deep thought in studying, his ebony eyes trailed down to a beggar woman, who had only just sat beneath his window seconds before.

He grinned wickedly and prepared his tongue.

"Alms! Alms! Alms 'fer an unfortunate woman!"

His grin grew. _'Oh, I'll give you alms you old hag. Don't you worry,' _he thought, his eyes slicing down on her.

The woman's grubby bonnet was his target; it was the easiest to aim for. The woman was ringing her hands and mumbling incessantly to herself. He could see she was obviously stark staring mad- but perhaps not as insane as him?

He leaned out of the window even more, readying the saliva on his tongue.

He opened his mouth and aimed for the beggar.

He shot and it dropped quickly, hitting the woman's bonnet directly with a loud squelching noise.

The barber held back a genuinely amused laugh, concealing his true humour. The beggar woman tilted her head and shot him a mad yet clearly narked glance.

"Oi! What the 'ell d'ya think you're doin' there, stranger?"

Her face screwed up into a frown as the barber's cruel laughter echoed in his shop and down the outside wall.

The woman stood and threw off the bonnet, revealing severely matted and faded yellow hair.

His laughter ceased.

His eyes could recognise the hint of dying blue in those eyes. They used to be beautiful, so full of life. But now? Now there was nothing but pure sadness.

It was Lucy.

He knew it was.

But hadn't Mrs Lovett said his beloved wife was dead? His brain overlooked that point at that moment and focused on the dilemma he was in at that time.

"Lucy?" he asked, softly yet it was loud enough for the woman to hear.

"Do I know you?"

"It's me. It's Benjamin! You must remember me!"

Her face lit up and her eyes grew wide.

She remembered!

She remembered him!

She wasn't completely mad after all!

"Pleased t'meet ya Benjamin! Spare some change?"

The barber's face fell into the dull depression he started off in. "I knew you wouldn't remember..." he whispered.

"What were that? I didn't quite catch it!"

He couldn't live with a woman like that. She was like a deaf old lady, which was worse than Mrs Lovett nattering in your ear hole all of the time.

_Mrs Lovett_.

The one that had lied to him about Lucy.

Why?

He supposed he could see why she'd said she was deceased. It just made him even more deeply depressed, that's why. He would have to thank her later on.

"What did you say y'name was, Sir?"

The barber felt sorrowful tears welling in his tear ducts. For god's sake! She couldn't even remember his name after a few seconds. He couldn't bear seeing his wife like this.

"Benjamin! Benjamin Barker!" he cried, feeling anger and hatred building in his veins.

"Well I can't 'ang around talkin' t' spitter's like you all day, Benjamin. A lady needs her- Alms! Alms! For a desperate woman!" she shouted, then scurried off to hassle the rich, pompous arse holes that were covered in gold jewellery that happened to be passing by.

Sweeney Todd took his head out of the window and slammed it shut, his rage getting the best of him. He had closed it so hard the window in each lead square almost cracked.

He didn't care though. He was bloody fuming!

'_Nothin' goes bloody well for ME does it? Nothin' goes fucking WELL for me! It does for rapists and beggars, but ME? I get fuck all!'_

His thoughts ate away his hope and he started to pace.

He was so angry and frustrated that he didn't even bother to take out his razor. Which he knew would mean he would have to hit something.

He strode to his chair and turned on his heels, facing the wall next to his closed bedroom door.

His frown rode further down and he sprinted towards the wall, the peeled stripy wallpaper driving him even crazier.

His fists collided with the wall, his anger leading his knuckles faster and harder, creating dents in the wallpaper. He had never felt so pissed off before in his life! He was just so fucking frustrated!

He set his jaw and stopping thumping the wall. His finger bones ached, he was sure the skin would be bruised in the morning. Alas, he did not give a fuck.

His feet led him slowly, almost tiredly to his chair, where he slumped down, breathing heavily to calm himself down. He knew he would never have Lucy; he probably would never even have another woman like he had had her.

A name suddenly flashed up in his thoughts, strangely it calmed even more.

_Nellie Lovett_

His breathing slowed and was lighter and then his sombre eyes opened. His heart thumped hard against his chest and his eyebrows lowered into a frown of confusion.

Why?

He swallowed and closed his eyes again, but that only made it worse.

"_Nellie Lovett," _he whispered, opening his eyes and intriguingly feeling a lot more refreshed.

He stood up from the chair and closed his eyes, imagining her milky white face glowing like an enchanted gothic angel. He could see and imagine his hands gripping her tiny waist, and her fingers wrapping themselves in his thick inky locks.

And then he could image her plump dream-like lips nearing his face...

'_NO! Snap out of it TODD!_ _Do not even THINK of replacing...'_

For once he ignored his strange voice inside of his head and started to walk to his shop door. _"Nellie Lovett..." _he muttered, a mixed emotion clear on his features.

The bell rang out as he left the parlour and took his time strutting down the stairs.

It looked about half-four, so Mrs Lovett wouldn't have opened up again yet. He would have time to thank her.

'_Yes that's all I'm going to do. Go in, say thanks and then get out. Easy as pie. Oh god... I hope it'll be easy...' _he thought, watching his feet slowly stride to the shop door.

He braced himself and took a long heavy breath before pushing the door open, cringing slightly as her bell tinkled and her door shut swiftly behind him.

He could see her behind the counter, back turned and her hands constantly intact with cleaning baking equipment in the sink. He cleared his throat and he swore he saw her jump.

She didn't turn.

"Sorry dear, but we're closed at the moment. Come back in an 'our or so, an' we'll be open..."

"Will we?" he asked, startling her again, only this time she dropped several knives that were in her hands at that moment into the washing up bowl. The soap covered her hands and he could see there was a long scar along the side of her left one.

"Mr T! Wot y'doin' down 'ere? Shouldn't y'be tendin' t'your customers?"

He shook his head and lowered it after an awkward ten seconds of silence. He knew he'd have to tell her right away, that way he could thank her and get out quicker.

"I saw her."

Mrs Lovett took a ratty old tea towel from the side and wiped her hands on it.

"Ay? Who? Who'd ya see, love?"

"_Her. _Lucy."

She frowned and placed the dishcloth over her shoulder. Her hands were gripped to her hips after that, and he couldn't help looking at how brilliant her middle curved in and out in the right places. He knew he was _definitely _off subject now, but he was deeply attracted to her body- how had he not seen her beauty before? He had been so naïve!

She sighed and slowly made her way over to him, taking her hands from her hips for a moment to hold his shoulders and walk him over to a seat in a booth.

She stood next to the table in front of him, staring down at him with a concerned look.

"Look, love. She's gone. Completely gone. It was just your imagination," she paused and sighed heavily, whether it was deliberately or not, her tits were even more exposed. He swallowed and stared at them for a second then tore away immediately when she took her eyes back to him. "Now, c'mon. Let's get ya some lovely gin..."

He shook his head. He wanted to be sober for this.

"I know you were lying. About Lucy's death. She's alive isn't she?" he asked, not in a raging way, but in a way that suggested he was curious more than anything else.

Mrs Lovett's eyes closed and she nodded.

"Yes love. But she'd dead inside. I was only lyin' cos I knew it'd 'urt ya even more if ya saw her in the state she was. I swear I tried t'stop 'er, but she insisted she needed t'die." She whispered, almost crying when she saw the pain on Mr Todd's face. "I'm sorry love."

He nodded and looked back at her with a blank understanding face, until a totally unexpected feeling came over him.

"S'alright. You did wot was right. Thank you."

Mrs Lovett nodded, not showing the fact that underneath she was terribly flattered that he had even thanked her, and just put on a small smile.

"Ya welcome, Mr T."

She turned away from him to continue her evening work's preparation but he managed to grab her hand as she was at one-hundred-and-eighty degrees. She gasped and turned instantly, immediately noticing he'd shifted down half of the bench to catch her.

"Mr T- ?"

His eyes were full of something she'd never ever seen anyone look at her with before.

What the _hell _was it? Albert had _never_ looked at her like this before, even when he'd been craving a good hump (which to his disappointment he had never ever got from Nellie).

She hadn't seen Benjamin wear this look either. No this was a new emotion. And Sweeney Todd had invented it. It was completely unique to him. And him only. Before she could say another word he'd brought her hand to his lips, where he laid a long, worthy kiss, her eyes fluttering as his lips collided with her skin.

Her other hand rested on the top of her chest, where her breasts rose up and down as her breathing increased. His eyes flew to her other hand and they lingered there, mesmerized by her pale ivory goods.

"Mr T? Are y'alright?" she asked, concerned about the barber's strange fascination of her boobs.

If he'd been any other man she'd have smacked him one, but being Sweeney Todd doing this she did not mind one bit.

She almost fainted when she saw the twinge of a smile on his lips.

"Never felt better, pet."

Dare she look down to...?

She did. And his trousers looked like they were about to explode. They probably would when she got on top of him...

He kissed her hand again but moved his pallid lips further up her arm this time, licking her exceptionally thoroughly at her wrist where he could see her pulsating veins.

"Mr T..._wot...wot_ about your Lucy...?" she moaned, closing her eyes.

"Fuck Lucy. I want _you_ now." He snarled, pulling himself up to stand before her, still licking her wrist's visible azure veins. "Mr T, I can't! I've gotta open up shop tonighhh..." Her words drifted off as his ample lips tormented her emotions by ambushing her neck.

"Surely y'can leave the shop shut fer a night?" he breathed, pulling away from her for a second.

Nellie blinked a few times, not quite believing what was happening at that particular moment.

"I can. Definitely." She replied, quicker than she had ever done before.

He smirked and swept her up off her feet, carrying her dramatically in front of him, to raise tension and make them both even more sexually excited (and to also look at her beautiful features that he rarely got to look at this close).

"Mr T! Where ya takin' me?" she squeaked, her corset suddenly feeling tighter than usual. She stared at him intently, hooking her hands around his neck.

He kissed her lips and attached his gaze on her again. "I thought you'd 'ave guessed by now, my love."

She smiled slyly and laid her head on his shoulder. "God, I love you!" she moaned, taking one hand from his neck to squeeze his fully functioning arse.

He gulped and felt his already excruciating erection stiffen further.

He backed into her bedroom, pushing the door with his back. He swivelled and rushed over to her bed, laying her down carefully over the scarlet covers. As he did so, her hand accidentally skimmed over the middle of his trousers creating a subdued whimper to escape his recently dried throat.

He stood at the end of the bed, watching her intricately as she undressed nonchalantly, never taking her seductive eyes from him.

First she revealed her neatly shaven legs to him, kicking them in the air when her boots had been removed and then tossed the stockings out of her hands. Her longing glances made his desire for sex- no- for the rampantsex _Nellie _could give him, even more prominent. "Fuck I need you," he said quietly under his breath, his arms permanently fixed to his sides as she continued to strip before him. Her dress was off now, her corset causing her breasts to be shown perfectly as if she'd known to wear that particular one for his 'experiments'. Now she was only in her undergarments his erection was so painful he would have been relieved if someone had cut it off. Of course he wouldn't have wanted that to happen... really... Nellie prowled over the covers stopping when she reached the end of the bed where her beloved was stood. "Are y'sure y'wanna do this?" she asked, honestly wondering if he wanted to feel her from the inside. "Deffffiinnniiiteelllyyy..." he squealed; gasping ferociously too as her fingers stroked the lump in his trousers. "Shit. Ya really are 'ard f'me!" she said, giggling. He closed his eyes and groaned as she started to squeeze him. "Ohh... well... y'did just strip... in front of... ohhh... mee..." he whined breathlessly, taking his hands down to tangle his fingers in her hair.

Her other hand tugged his cravat forcefully and he fell onto the mattress face first. He quickly turned around and was surprised to see that Nellie had somehow gotten on top of him.

She ripped off his stock and kissed his lips for the first time, feeling the beautiful roughness work against her. His kisses were magnificent, unlike any before that she had experienced.

Her eyes fluttered shut as she felt his fingers on the laces of her bodice.

She pulled away from his lips for a moment to pull his shirt over his head. After a few seconds of tugging and awkward positions, he was shirtless and she was bodice-less.

His hands were naturally guided to her naked nipples, where his ringed fingers swirled skilful circles around the edge.

She moaned and fell beneath him, silently murmuring something he couldn't quite catch between gasps. "What was that my love?" he whispered, humping her waist with his covered crotch, causing her to cry out in pleasure already. "I'm wet an' gettin' wetter f'ya, Mr T." She gasped, clutching at his robust torso.

He smiled, genuinely at that point. Nellie smiled back, whimpering as he took her nipple with his teeth, roughly teasing her.

"Ohh... Sweeney..." she whined, gripping chest with her fingernails. "I want you..." Her lips kissed his forehead, and then slid down to his lips when he lifted his head.

He manipulated his lips around her completely oblivious to Nellie's fingers wrapped around the sterling handle of his razor. They pressed their chests together, both crying out and writhing in delight as their lips brayed harder. He held Nellie closer, unknowingly helping her to remove the razor from its holster. She gently yanked it from its rightful place and was satisfied to hear the weapon clatter onto her bedroom floorboards underneath her quite comforting bed.

The barber frowned and pulled away from her, hearing the familiar metallic sound of his friend hitting the floor.

"What are you doing?" he growled, wearing a rather intimidating expression.

Nellie open and closed her mouth a few times in the time of a couple of split seconds. "Uhh... well... I couldn't get t'ya belt with it there so I needed t-"

"Yes, yes. Now get on with this!" he roared, pushing his lips back into her. She smiled and obliged, reattaching her fingers to his belt. She fumbled around a bit before she found his cold belt buckle, where she tore it open and let him shrug the trousers off.

He stopped kissing her for a moment, catching his breath as he kneeled on all fours over her. "I never thought you'd be this much fun, Mrs Lovett." He gasped, a smirk playing on his lips. She raised an eyebrow and caught a sneaky glimpse of his hard cock inside his white undershorts while he wasn't focused on her eyes. The pressure of it against the clingy opal material made it seem really huge. Maybe it wasn't just an illusion... maybe he _was_ that big! Nellie swallowed and shot her eyes back up to him. He towered over her, his pale face just a mere five inches away from hers.

"Your turn, Miss." He whispered, rubbing his nose against her neck, gently nipping at her jaw line when he reached it.

She smiled and hastily took his hands in hers, causing him to fall flat onto her. His chin ended up on the crook of her neck, and his chest was securely pressed firmly over her hot, throbbing breasts causing a tingling to form in his cock down below.

"If it is my turn, ya may need ta 'elp me wi' it." She breathed. She took her hands down to the waistline of her bloomers and dragged Sweeney's along with them. She pushed his fingers down, allowing them to roam free and naturally pull down her knickers.

He moaned when her hands gripped his wrists tightly, rising them when he'd successfully brought her underwear down.

She ran his hands up her shins, up her thighs, this led to her groin, where she loosened her grip and gently whimpered as she felt the sensual vibe ripple through her.

She had let go fully now, his hand sweeping cautiously to her beautiful mass of auburn curls.

She squirmed underneath him slightly, feeling his fingers brush back and forth over her entrance.

"Ahh..." she gasped, her lover only just able to hear her as all sound was muffled because his head was buried deep in one of her bed pillows, his chin carefully being supported by her shoulder.

"'Ow I've lived wi'out you all these years I'll never know," she commented, feeling his lips come in contact with her shoulder (she knew that saying something he'd always said would make him a little more aroused). "I wish I'd noticed you sooner." He replied, his guttural voice muffled from Nellie and the cushions.

"Ohh... god... you know 'ow t'please a girl Mr T..." she moaned, bringing her arms around him to grip his surprisingly sweltering back.

"Is that so?"

She moaned an 'Oh yeah' in reply.

"But I am not here to please, am I, Mrs Lovett?"

"...Ay...?" she moaned, so lifelessly she looked like she'd just reached bliss from getting high on Opium. But this was a much more addictive drug...

"...I am here to cause suffering."

"Oh no... what are ya sayin' Mr T?"

"I need to make you suffer..."

"Wot? No ... I ... "

"And you shall indeed... _suffer..._"

Nellie's eyes opened and grew. What the _hell _was going to do to her? Thank god she'd chucked his razor on the floor... but still, there were other ways of killing...

She felt his finger slowly travel through her un-touched entrance. She swallowed and gripped his back tighter, not knowing what feeling to expect as she had never really done this sort of thing before...

She could feel his mini limb wriggled through deeper... she bit her lip but knew she couldn't take it anymore...

"No! Please... I..."

She felt his finger descend from her and he kneeled up, so his face was exactly in front of hers. "What is it, pet?" he asked, frowning in honest confusion. "Did I take it too far...?"

"No! No! Ya were bein' brilliant. It's me, is all... I, well... uhh..." she trailed off, feeling her usually deathly pallid cheeks completely rush into a cherry red.

He frowned, studying her emotions, barely able to see her embarrassment.

"What? What's wrong?"

"I ain't..."

"What! Spit it out woman before I lose my temper!"

"I'm... um... I'm virginal..."

He lost the scowl and found himself trying to scoff back an amused laugh. He gulped it back but had a silly smile on his lips. "I'm sorry? Could you repeat that again...?"

Nellie lowered her eyes away from him, suddenly feeling shy around him. For once Sweeney could sense the obvious shame that elevated from her.

"I'm virginal... I'm a virgin..."

There was an awkward silence for a good forty seconds. She wasn't sure if he'd been stifling a hearty laugh for the whole of it, or felt bad for thinking it was funny in the first place.

With all her courage she dared herself to glance into his face.

"If you don't wanna..."

"No s'fine. If anyone should make me impure, it's always been you I would've wanted to release me from it..." she confessed, returning her hands to his back.

"Really?"

"I thought you'd caught on by now, Mr T. Everyone 'as seen that twinkle in me eyes every bloody time y'strut down those stairs. I've always wondered if you'd seen what I've got t'give ya... "

"I've been a naïve fool, forgive me. These last few years have been like a trance for me...but I can guarantee you... I will treasure this moment forever." He whispered, pressing his lips on hers, leaving them there for a few moments and then he pulled away.

"I forgive ya, Mr T. Now please, don't delay this anymore... "

He grinned and sunk down her body, leaving a route of kisses down her front, his hands feeling the curvaceous grooves on her sides.

His fingers lingered over her entrance and she braced herself.

Her eyes were closed, but opened instantly when she felt a moist material fall across her legs and drop onto the floor.

"Mr – "

She gasped.

A painful motion hit her, and it really _was _painful!

"I'm sorry for 'urtin' you, it'll feel better in moment. I promise... jus' tell me when y'feel comfortable..." he moaned, pressing his lips to hers in reassurance. He seemed so much kinder when he was making love...

Slowly the pain dulled and she could feel his bulky length inside her. He had been right; so far it felt pretty good apart from the slight prick of nervousness she had...

She sighed. _'No time like the present,' _she thought to herself, smiling when she felt him attacking her neck with heart rendering kisses.

"When y'ready love..."

He smirked against her skin and pushed himself further into her. She cried out in pleasure and suffering, slightly confused at which one was more dominant.

He started to move inside her, rocking his body gently inside her slowly expanding sex. She groaned sharply when his thrusts become more complex and extravagant, seeming like a drug already.

"Sweeney..." she murmured, clinging to his back as he grinded harder into her.

He smiled and closed his eyes, his face painting the picture of someone who had reached a blissful paradise.

"...Sweeney..." she moaned, hearing his grunts become louder than her. She could feel her walls tightening around him and a strange feeling come over her. Her head was spinning, like she'd been on something, but she hadn't... she felt a buzz run through her body... her nerves and muscles were trapped in a static prison, guiding the to what she would soon feel...

"...Ahh!" she screamed, feeling a liquid seep from her and slip onto his length which was constantly pounding into her.

"...Nellie..." he hissed.

Nellie? Did he just call her Nellie? She swore he had...

His cock sped up the pace, jabbing and jabbing at her insides until they both were about to tip over the edge...

"Oh...oh...oh...ohh..." they grunted, feeling the violence rise from his thrusts.

Their eyes opened and coloured lights appeared in their vision for those special moments when they both released, at exactly the same time...

They groaned, moaned and grunted some more before he pulled out of her, collapsing tiredly next to her, their chests rising and falling in unison.

"I weren't expectin' that t'day... or at any time at all really, Sweeney."

He grinned evilly. "Full of surprises?"

She giggled. "_Definitely!"_

"I suppose you are too..."

Nellie turned to him, creeping closer to place a caring kiss on his bottom lip.

"Ay?"

"I only came in to thank you, I did that, and I expected to just walk out..."

Her smile grew.

"...but I ended up sleeping with you instead..."

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><p><strong>Thank heavens you have gotten to the end! Sorry my mind is a little strange today so... you know! Don't forget to review because I love to hear your thoughts on this guys! I love these two! It was SO hard to come up with a title for this story so I just took a lyric from 'Nancy Boy' xD! Anyway! Hope you've enjoyed reading and surviving my endless fantasies (e_O Weird!)<strong>

**SecretSparrowTodd xx ;)**

**Keep writing, reading and reviewing! **


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